Rebekah Birth Story

Rebekah Loraine was born at ...
10:30 p.m. on February 12th 1991.
She was 7 lbs. 4 oz. and 20 1/2 in. long.

We were living in Germany, with the Army... I was at least. Bill had been deployed to the gulf war and was in Saudi Arabia. He left in early December (I believe it was Dec. 5th, and as I write this, I realize that Hannah was born on the anniversary of that day, 8 years later). I was due 5 February. My parents were already gone, so having my mom come over and stay with me wasn't an option. Bill's mom hates to fly, and they had said they wouldn't be over to visit us while we were there, so I knew I wouldn't have their help either. While I was still engaged our very good friend Jess and I had made plans for her to come to Germany to see us and to help, when I had a baby. When we 'planned' this, we had NO idea how important her visit would be to me, and that Bill would be gone. Jess arrived 2 days after Christmas.

She helped me keep track of my life, and was my 'social' secretary, while I was the only Officer's Wife in the unit (that stayed in Germany to help - our Company commander's wife went home just after Christmas. (They had orders and pack out dates to leave Germany, and her husband had to stay/go with his troops, and she really didn't want to stay so she had the stuff packed up and she moved 'home')).

I remember the day quite vividly. I was having a 'woe is me' kind of a day. I hadn't really showered and gotten myself ready for the day... It was exactly one week after her estimated Due Date. I thought I would be pregnant forever! That very day I had decided that the baby was never coming! I hadn't really gotten myself ready for the day... my hair was driving me crazy and I was about to start chopping at it myself! Around 5 pm I called a friend and asked if she would be willing to cut my hair. I arrived as they were finishing up dinner. She cut my hair and that alone made me feel so much better!

We sat around talking and laughing for a while. As we were getting ready to leave, I remember we were all standing in the hallway, the friend was standing in front of me, in front of the bathroom door... I felt something and my eyes got wide and I looked at her, and said, I needed to go to the bathroom!!! She quickly moved out of the way and I went in. I could hear everyone joking around outside the bathroom door, speculating on what might be happening... perhaps my water had just broken? I remember my dear friend Jess commenting that no! I was probably just, finally able to pee! (how sweet of her! :-) She herself an unmarried gal, had made fun of me and my irritability at the frequent NEED to run the the bathroom and then drip two or three drops all day and night!

I realized that yes, in fact my water had broken. It was 8 p.m. We got a plastic garbage bag to cover the seat of the car I was driving (I was taking care of and driving one of Bill's soldiers car a cute little Honda CRX while they were in Saudi). I didn't' want to mess up the seats! and a bunch of paper towels, then we drove the few minutes home to begin labor I hoped, and get my bag, etc...

I hadn't had 1 single contraction yet, and I was mad! I had done some reading. (I had read every single book in the post library on pregnancy and childbirth - all 7 of them! as well as a couple of books that an old friend had recommended and I had my mother in law go out and buy them and send them to me). I had planned to labor at home as long as possible. I knew that with my water breaking they would probably want me to come in right away, and yet I wasn't contracting yet! What a disappointment! I called the Dr and yes they did want me to come right in. Jess ate something for dinner and packed herself a bag of snacks for the long haul ahead of us that night. I repacked my bag, I had used it a couple of weeks before when I had come down with the stomach flu and the Dr. put me in the hospital on I.V.'s for two days... While I was packing I had my first contraction at 8:30 p.m. This made me a little bit happier, as I at least knew something was getting started! I had another contraction while getting stuff together. I hadn't timed anything, but it sure seemed kind of close together. I told Jess to look at the clock, and we hurried about our business while we waited for the next contraction. It came and we realized they were 3 minutes apart! Goodness, I guess we'd better get going!

We headed downstairs to the car (I lived on the third floor of stairwell apartments). Jess was SOOOOO excited! She kicked our friend who lived downstairs door as we passed by and yelled, we're having a baby! They came running out to see what all the commotion was, and to see if the way Jess had yelled, if I was having the baby RIGHT then and there! No, but contractions were coming pretty fast and furious... I remember getting out to the car and having to hold onto the edge of the car and sort of squat with the contraction!

We got in the car and started our drive - a 20 minute drive to another small city. We lived in Nuremburg, Bill's office was in Erlangen. The Military hospital in the Nuremburg area had closed for normal patients, when I was 37 weeks, and I had gotten a phone call to say, "Come and get your records, and find some place to have your baby." The hospital was on stand by as the Limb injury hospital in Europe for casualties of war. (the most injuries that they received were people that blew their knees out from playing volleyball in the sand! but they were ready in case it was needed!). Anyway, when I had chosen the Dr's and the place I was going to give birth, out in Erlangen, everyone was so shocked an surprised! Why would I want to travel 20 minutes away in labor, when the LARGE German Hospital (Maternity hospital - Kranken-haus) was very near by?!? I figured that first time labors were an average of 12-18 hours, and I would have plenty of time to get 20 minutes away!

While driving I was very uncomfortable in that cute little sports car! I had no idea at the time but I was going through transition on the drive. We got to the hosp. (A very small private hospital that had only 5 rooms and 10 beds. There wasn't a nursery as such, certainly not one to leave your baby in - the baby stayed with the mom in her room. yay! sounded good to me. It was actually in like, this little strip mall looking place. There was a large pharmacy, the maternity hospital, a small pediatric hosp/clinic, and a grocery store, and some Dr's offices, and who knows what else.) We arrived and I remember having to stop and squat again as I got out of the car, and then again when we got up to the door.

The only nurse on at the time was Hans. He spoke very little English (maybe 5 words???), and I spoke almost NO German! He was rushing around trying to get me ready and things pulled together for a labor and birth. I would have loved to speak/understand German, (to be a fly on the wall) just so that I could have known what all he was saying and how many frantic phone calls he had made that night! He actually went and got another mom from her postpartum room. She was a German wife of an American Soldier, who had recently delivered her own baby, to come translate for us. So she comes down the hall, she is holding her baby, and she stays to help me. Jess is trying to get things together for me... she is setting up the video camera that we borrowed from my downstairs neighbors (at that time in my life, I had thought that people who took pictures and video of births were sicko's!, but when it occurred to me that Bill was going to have NO idea what we had gone through... I thought perhaps it would be a way I could share that part of his child's life with him, when he came home, whenever that would be).

I some ways I look back on it, in my fuzzy memory and I see it a little bit at a sort of three ring circus. Hans, could not communicate with me (to even tell me to get undressed and get up on the delivery bed/table... or anything). Barbara, the German mommy - was standing there next to me, holding her baby in her arms, trying to help me to breathe. She would say you have to breathe for your baby! Look, in just a little while you will have your own baby, just like this... Jess is running around hyper and trying to get my bags taken care of dealing the the video camera, and with never a child birth class or any preparation, trying to help me in whatever was she could.

Usually the Midwife would come and labor with you and check on you, and she'd call the Dr. when things got close. I had never met the midwife that worked with them. At some point the Dr. showed up, not Dr. Hammad, the one I had seen for most of the visits I had, had since switching to their practice - I think I'd met Dr. Oilburg once. He shows up and is very efficient and gets things ready... He checks me and basically says nothing, Jess who is just all excited about the whole process, asks, Well, "what is she?" The Dr. says, "oh, I can see the hairs on the baby's head, she can push whenever she wants to..." WOW!!! That is certainly NOT what I expected to hear! I had figured that like the average first time mom, I would be in labor for at least 12 hours. I had begun to think, even though I had wanted a natural birth, I might not be able to handle it, if I had to go through this for another 12 - 18 hours!!! Things were just so intense!

Barbara, at some point went and put her baby back in it's little bed in her room and then she came back to help me - it was clear she was needed. I remember my mouth getting so dry! I asked for something to wet my mouth... she eventually was able to get some gauze squares from the Dr and got it wet and let me suck the thing dry! She then would wipe my brow, with it. Wow! did that feel fantastic! My birth was going along so crazy, but she who had never even had a vaginal birth (she labored with her first, then had a c-section, and then had, had a repeat section for her new baby), but she knew what I needed, and did what she could to help!

I began 'pushing' while they continued getting everything set up and ready. I didn't' realize at the time I wasn't actively pushing hard... but I at least was no longer fighting the urge to push that I had been having, making everything harder and more intense for me! It was nice to be able to just let my body do it's thing. Before to long, Dr. Hammad showed up. He said he had been just down the street visiting friend at the university... and got the call, and so he showed up. Since the Midwife wasn't even there yet (we found out later that with the recent snow and ice she'd had a little car accident (a fender bender) on her way to the hospital), Dr. Hammad put his hands on his hips and said, "so, I will stay and be your midwife!"

I pushed a little bit, like I said, not really pushing hard, just getting out of the way of my body, and I stopped fighting and it was going better in that respect. They started doing the whole coached pushing thing, and before too long I realized they were about to cut an episiotomy... I remember sort of 'screaming' out in my head... NOOOO!!!!!!! and thinking, "can't you just wait a minute?!?!?!" I'm in the middle of a contraction here! "I was just getting into pushing, and what was the hurry?!?!?!" So what if my labor took 30 minutes longer!?!?!? I think it was just standard for first time mom's (perhaps, for all mom's?) to cut an episiotomy.

Rebekah made her appearance at 10:30 p.m. It was hard to believe that I was a mom!

The midwife arrived just as they were putting Rebekah on my belly. She bathed the baby, and dressed her in these cute little clothes. The midwife came in each day we were there and bathed Rebekah and dressed her in another cute little outfit. She had a full tub bath every day of her life (pretty much) until she was two years old. (Her umbilical cord came off days sooner than Amanda's where we put Alcohol on it like at the American hospital). They of course told me the weight and length in Centimeters and grams. I had to wait until I was able to talk to someone a day or two later to get her weight in lbs.

I was surprised and shocked that I had a girl, and I wanted to share our happy news with Bill!
I sent out the message through the Red Cross. Luckily while they were in the desert, AT&T set up phone banks for the soldiers to make phone calls. Bill knew i was due and had been calling fairly often for updates. As it turned out there were two ladies in our unit who's husbands had not called them ONCE at all! They were a little bit older and perhaps didn't feel like they needed to waste the money calling long distance, and collect, and that their wives didn't need to hear from them? I don't know, but several of us had been telling our husbands to tell their husbands to CALL HOME!!!!! (the one guys kids were so sick over Christmas that they didn't even care that Santa came and didn't open presents until around 6 pm on Christmas day... he still hadn't called his wife and family!) As luck would have it, they both called home on Feb 13th to talk to their wives, who were some of my best support group ladies, who passed on the news, and so Bill was able to call our home, he got Jess and got the phone number for the hospital where I was at and he got to call me and hear all the happy news! I feel very lucky that was possible, since he didn't receive the Red Cross message for about 2 weeks or more!

I know we have had our rough times over the years, but I am so grateful to have Rebekah as my daughter. She has been the Guinea pig and I've had to learn to be a mom and I've made plenty of mistakes. I really do look forward to watching as she grows and becomes a woman, and though the prospect of her getting married any time son is really frightening to me... It will be fun to watch that new chapter of her life unfold as well. I hope that I have done an o.k. job of parenting her, and that she will have a good life.

I love you Rebekah! My first baby! The person who made me what I am today... A Mother!